In which Zombie of Doom sounds like a peeping tom and proves once and for all that he might actually be a dirty old man.  Or just dirty.  Or at least a little weird.  Or the David Attenborough of the gaming world.

There is something in the gamer – and to an extent the geek – lifestyle that really annoys me. It is a weird phenomenon I see when I people watch from a safe distance through high priced binoculars that I doubt are even legal in this country. It is that when a gamer guy, sees a girl and then later finds out she is a gamer, his hormones suddenly flair up and she instantly becomes the best girl in the world.

When I say gamer I also don’t mean a girl playing The Sims. Playing one game doesn’t mean you are part of the gamer lifestyle. I mean she plays Mortal Kombat, Mario Kart and probably hates one of the three consoles with a passion. You probably read that last section and either thought, damn, that girl sounds hot or you think she doesn’t exist.

Well I have news for you sir. Not only does she exist, she also has moderate looks like most people. She is no super model. She is no magical unicorn that you need to hunt. Gamer girls exist and they exist in great numbers. I recently went to a small gaming expo called RAGE and I saw them there in all their glory. They came in all shapes and sizes. They like different kinds of games. They were basically just like guy gamers, only with better boobs. I asked myself why the “Gamer Girl” mythos is still around. Why do people on a daily basis still go insane when they meet a gamer girl like they discovered water on the moon?

Then on the other side of the coin, you get personalities in the gaming industry that have built their whole following around the fact that they are a girl and they game? That is all that they have going and they have followers lapping up everything they say like they developed Doom. I know this to be true since I used to be one of them. Before I started getting out more I used to gawk at every gamer girl I saw. They smelled nice and I liked the way they talked about screen resolutions. But after a lot of therapy and soul searching I found out that they are just like me. So what makes them so special? My therapist says that I am just jealous and bitter but what does he know. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go test out my new binoculars.

You can read more of this author’s ramblings on High on Reviews (they review stuff) or follow the (in)human on Twitter.  We’re sure he’ll like it.