After being AWOL last week and leaving the rest of us to announce Ozone South Africa’s interest in sponsoring SA clans, Undead Ed returned to action to discover that we couldn’t be bothered to give the clan profile job to someone else.  He seemed pretty happy, but the fresh air through his hair must have put him in good spirits – only until he discovered that teabagging had nothing to do with boiling water and Sri Lanka’s finest.  And when he realised that lobotomy is really not a healthy medical cure for a crazy zombie we could see his little heart sink.  And we laughed.

Today, the Fallen Lobotomizers are our featured clan.  Only recently formed to enter the current – but almost finished – DoGaming Gears of War 3 Knockout, their players are not strangers to the Gears of War franchise.  They are also no strangers to pwning n00bs and dishing out pain with the business end of the shotgun.  And they do both pretty well – they currently have two teams in a position to potentially take the championships.  Not bad considering they’ve only been around about ten weeks as a clan.  Imagine what they’ll be like after ten months…

Your DoGaming clan page says you were established in January 2012.  Did you form that recently, and specifically for the current Gears of War 3 DoGaming Knock-out?

We formed that recently and for the DLG Gears 3 tournament (seen that it’s the 1st  gears 3 competitive cup in SA), however some of our members where playing  since gears 1 and 2, we were just a bunch of guys playing gears having laughs and decided to form the FLS

You’re performing pretty well in the DGL Knockout [at time of writing, FLS are preparing to play the finals] but you have some pretty young players.  Did you all start with Gears of War 3 or were you playing Gears of War 2?  You’ve certainly shown some of the old Gears 2 players a thing or two…

There are no noobs in our team, everyone comes from gears 1 and 2,  reason why some people didn’t hear of majority of the players is because most of us played on ranked games in the UK

Any other tournaments you’ve participated in?

As FLS only one, an American tournament, made it to the 7th round then lag killed us

How many members are you currently?  Keen to give out their names, credit card details and ID numbers?
Alright, only Gamertags will do.

Uhhhm so many, too lazy

How much time do you practice as a team?

We don’t practice and even if we plan a practice session it never happens… we just jam together every night from 8 to 12 every day and sometimes on weekends from 10pm to 7am

Gears of War 3 is obviously the clans game of choice, but when you’re feeling like a change in pace, what do you guys play?

A lot but no other online game, they all noobish…  don’t need an automatic aim to help us destroy people 

Do you consider yourselves a competitive clan, or one in it more for “the shits and giggles”?

Both, probably more for fun, don’t know if anyone shat themselves yet while playing

Are you guys actively recruiting players?  If so, how do you decide on who is right to join you?

We not looking for ‘Carmines’ at the moment and if we do decide who will join us is people that will jam with us every day, doesn’t matter if you lack skill, we will force some in you

Clan you respect/hate/want to be the most…

We respect every team, clan and player unless the play ultra-noobish, then we will treat them like noobs by tea bagging the crap outta them

Any plans for world domination in the future or are you planning something on a slightly smaller scale?

Teabag a person from every country in the world that’s on XBL (so far we have the whole of Europe and some Northern American players)

Boring stuff over…

If you weren’t a gaming clan you’d be…

Some of us would have been cricket umpires, rugby player, pole dances for the women in our clan and many other things

Weapon of choice for lobotomising or simply killing a… er… zombie?

Has to be a shotgun… In gears its noob to camp and lancer and in COD its noob to run around with a shotgun, therefore equal ground is shotgun in zombies…  that’s why we showed you how we deal with uhm zombies on gears [Sadly this may be true.  I may well have been on the business end of these shotguns.  But I’m still alive suckers… – Zombie Dredd]

If you guys had a music soundtrack for going to war, what would it be?

If in SA the song that they play on the Joko teabag advert – Diana Ross  Ain’t no mountain high enough, international has to be Rage Against the Machine or the 300 speech

Thanks for your time.  Is there anything you would like to add before going back to saving the world from those damn Locusts? 

“Remember us.” As simple an order as a guardian can give. “Remember why we died.” For he did not wish tribute nor song, nor monuments, nor poems of war and valour. His wish was simple: “Remember us,” he said to me. That was his hope. Should any free soul come across that place, in all the countless centuries yet to be, may all our voices whisper to you from the ageless stones: Go tell the World’s passer-by that here by Lobotomizer law, we lie. So my guardian died and my brothers died… Barely a year ago, long I pondered my guardian’s cryptic talk of victory; time has proven him wise. But from fearless Lobotomizers to heartless Morticians, the word was spread that bold Cleaverstone and his 14, so far from home, laid down their lives, not just for them, but for all GOW players and the promise this country holds. Now, here on this ragged patch of earth called Jacinto, Myrrah’s hordes face obliteration! Just there the Lowcust* huddle, sheer terror gripping tight their hearts with icy fingers, knowing full well what merciless horrors they suffered at the gnashers and hammerbursts of 14. Yet they stare now across the plain at 10,000 Lobotomizers commanding 30,000 free COGS! Hahoo! The enemy outnumber us a paltry three to one; good odds for any COG. This day we rescue a world from mysticism and tyranny, and usher in a future brighter than anything we could imagine. Give thanks men! To Cleaverstone, and the brave 14! To victory!

The team is still working on their Website, Facebook Page, Twitter and Youtube Channel but you can find them on the DoGaming Clan lisiting.  Give them a break, they’ve only just formed… and they’re already kicking your ass.

*We assume they meant Locust.

If you are keen to feature in this column in the future, please feel free to contact us at and we’ll think about – after you’ve sent us a sample of your braaaaaaiiiiinnnnsss.

Next week we will be covering PlayStation 3 clan eVo and in the weeks that follow Clan Connection PS3 MW3 champs Lo$T, PC clan =ASF= and many more.

This clan profile feature is powered by Ozone Energy Drink South Africa.

Remember to get involved – by simply commenting on the clan profile, you stand a chance to win a case of Ozone Energy Drink.  Ozone South Africa are also looking for clans to sponsor and by participating here you already have made an impression and impact.